#<- does it matter. at this point. whatever.

[p0orbaby]

R thinks Alexia is embarrassed to be dating her because R hasn't met her friends when in reality she doesn't want the team to scare R away.

-

The first thing you notice when Alexia walks through the door is her expression. A mix of contentment and exhaustion, like she’s just finished saving the world but could still go another round if she had to. Her hair is tied back in that effortlessly perfect way that you’ve never quite managed to replicate, no matter how many YouTube tutorials you’ve watched.

“Hey,” she says, setting down a bag of groceries on the counter like it didn’t cost her at least fifty euros for whatever organic nonsense she’s insisted on this week.

“Hi,” you reply, the word clipped, your voice low.

She pauses, turning to look at you with that face. The one that says she’s already analysing the situation and will probably win whatever argument is about to unfold. You hate that she’s good at this. You hate even more that you’ve already lost, but you press forward anyway.

“So,” you start, trying for casual but landing somewhere closer to brittle, “I was just thinking. You know how we’ve been dating for, oh, six months now?”

Her eyebrows lift, just a fraction, but she says nothing.

“And how I still haven’t met any of your teammates?”

There’s the flicker of understanding in her eyes, followed by something that looks suspiciously like guilt. You press on, emboldened.

“Not even one,” you add, holding up a finger for emphasis. “Not Irene, not Keira, not even Ingrid, and she seems like she wouldn’t hurt a fly”

Alexia sighs, rubbing a hand over her face, and you know you’ve struck a nerve. “It’s not like that,” she says.

“Oh, isn’t it?” You fold your arms, leaning back against the counter. “Because it kind of feels like you’re embarrassed of me”

That gets her. She blinks, her mouth opening and closing as if she’s trying to form words but failing spectacularly. You’re on a roll now.

“I mean, it’s fine if you are,” you say, with a shrug that’s entirely too casual. “I get it. I’m not, like, a professional athlete or anything. I don’t even know what half those drills you talk about are. I had to Google what a rondo was”

“Cariño,” she interrupts, her voice soft but firm, and it derails you just enough to make you falter.

“What?”

She steps closer, her hands finding your hips in that way that always makes your resolve crumble. “I’m not embarrassed of you. I could never be embarrassed of you”

“Then why—”

“Because,” she cuts you off again, her forehead resting lightly against yours now, “my teammates are… a lot”

You blink at her, thrown. “A lot?”

She nods, her lips twitching like she’s trying not to laugh. “Yes. Imagine a group of very competitive, very opinionated people who spend way too much time together. Now imagine them interrogating you about every single detail of our relationship”

“I think I could handle it,” you say, but your voice wavers just enough to betray you.

Alexia smirks, pulling back just slightly so she can meet your gaze. “Could you handle Mapi trying to figure out your star sign within five seconds of meeting you?”

“I—”

“Or Patri asking you whether you think pineapple belongs on pizza?”

“I mean—”

“And then there’s Aitana, who will definitely ask if you’ve ever made me cry”

Your mouth opens, but no words come out. She raises an eyebrow like she’s already proven her point.

“Okay,” you admit after a beat. “That does sound… intense”

“Exactly.” She presses a quick kiss to your forehead before stepping back, as if that seals the conversation. “I just don’t want them to scare you off”

“Alexia,” you say, grabbing her wrist before she can fully retreat. “I’m not going anywhere”

She looks at you then, her expression softening in that way that makes your chest ache. “I know. But you’re too good to deal with all that. At least not yet”

“Not yet?”

“Maybe next month,” she teases, a rare grin breaking across her face.

[val-the-protoss-simp]

Yeah, so. The best way I can explain my thoughts on these ships (especially Artazun - Artanis/Vorazun) is using one of Avril Lavigne's most iconic songs:

He was a boy

She was a girl

Can I make it anymore obvious?

Like, I'm not trying to throw any shade at all, people can ship whatever they want. But I am yet to meet a person who ships these two that explains why they like them so much in a way that makes sense to me. Because sooner or later, their explanation boils down to "He's a guy and she's a gal so ofc they'd be into each other" as if a straight ship is some kind of default and if a story has a male main character and a female main character, they have to end up together. And I just don't see it. Them as friends? Sure, absolutely, imo they're great as friends, but not as a couple. Alarak and Artanis have way more chemistry with one another. Bit of a hot take but so does Rohana and Vorazun. But Artanis/Vorazun is about as interesting to me as watching paint dry is. It's like when you pick up a mediocre romance book where the girl character obviously ends up with the boy character because That's Just How Things Are no matter of they're good together or not. No thanks. Pass

Kerrinor is a bit more complicated in a sense that the game actively tries to convince you these two are really into each other. But if I had to sum up their vibes, I'd reach for Sk8tr Boy again. "He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious?" I just don't get the romantic vibes at all off of these two. Raynor frequently comes off as an incel that gives the vibes of someone who'd insist they know better than you and just to listen to them because they know best, while also transforming into the biggest simp in the galaxy in SC2 as he pines over a woman that's obviously not into him.

And Kerrigan gives me the vibes of someone who really does wanna see more in this weird relationship, but more because she thinks having someone to love will make her feel whole and worthy of living rather than that she really wants this. Like, if shit didn't go south and she didn't get infected, I'm 100% that eventually she'd go "Yeah sorry lol this ain't gonna work." and break it off with Raynor. Like, I do think she cares deeply for Raynor, don't get me wrong, and at one point might have thought what she feels is romantic love, but eventually comes to a point where she realises that it's a sense of kinship rather than anything romantic. She loves him as a friend, that is all.

And funny enough, if you know more about his character, you know he had a wife and a son that he tragically lost. Knowing this information and how he's written, Raynor comes off to me as someone who's desperately looking for that kind of love again, albeit without realising, because the time he spent happy with his family was the happiest he ever was and his defeated, depressed ass desperately wants that again. So he seeks that shit and Kerrigan just happens to be there.

You can clearly see that he cares deeply about her, but his feelings of affection are misplaced to the point he doesn't want to see the kind of person she is and instead tries to morph her into the kind of woman HE wants. Which is not who Kerrigan is at all. Revenge is all she has left, no matter what it takes, and Raynor again and again tries to talk her out of it for his own personal wants when she makes it very very clear this isn't something she wants to do and that she cannot just let go of what Mengsk did to her and what that man's choices turned her into. And instead of trying to understand why someone he supposedly understands so deeply would want to kill the man who robbed her off of everything and turned her into a monster that killed billions, he gets butthurt when she doesn't wanna run off with him and live happily ever after. I love Raynor for many reasons, I think he's a well written character in a lot of aspects but this just. Ain't it. If the game treated this behaviour of his as a flaw, I'd dig it. But instead it tries to tell how boo boo poor Raynor is just so unfortunate to want a woman that doesn't want him, even when he ignores everything that's important to her. That's just not doing it for me, fam. I get that the game tries to ram it down my throat as the technically only canon ship it gives us in its five installments, but I can't get behind it. Kerrinor is a big fat no for me, let them just stay friends.

a ship where i see what people see but it is simply not very interesting to me personally it’s like

[ssentimentals]

Omg omg i saw someone wrote about bestie!seokmin asking forcing you to play pepero game with him but I LOST it, so pretty please, beautiful, can you do it😫

ooh i never read anything like this, let me try baby, hopefully it'll be as good as original!

lee seokmin + pepero game

'there must be some science behind it,' seokmin comments as you two prepare the table for dinner party tonight.

'behind what?' you ask, washing fruits. 'can you pass me the fruit bowl, please?'

'behind winning a pepero game.' seokmin comes up to you with a bowl in his hand and points at the tv screen, where two famous actors are being forced to play a pepero game. 'like, there's definitely some tactics for winning.'

you squint at the tv screen, watching as audience screams when eventually both of the actors look like they're about to kiss. seokmin arranges fruits just like he knows you like it - apples and oranges at the bottom with grapes on top. he wonders if you noticed how natural it is for you two to be together, how effortlessly conversation flows; he wonders if you noticed how much he knows about you, how he seems to always gravitate towards you whenever you're around. he stares at the fruit bowl and wants to scream because he does things for you without even thinking them through - like him choosing green grapes because you once mentioned in the passing that you don't like purple ones.

'pepero game doesn't require strategic mindset, seokkie,' you comment, turning to him with a sweet smile. 'it's just for fun anyways.'

seokmin is going to blame what comes out of his mouth next for four months of pining over you. 'let's play it then! i will prove that it's all about strategy!'

you look confused for a second, unsure if he's joking or not, so seokmin presses on, desperate in a way that can be considered embarrassing if he had any shame left. gladly, he has none. 'here, i've got them!' seokmin grabs a pack - a strawberry one, because guess whose favorite flavor that is? correct, yours - and shoves it in your hands. 'it's just for fun, you said. right?'

you blink at him. seokmin being this random and chaotic is not a surprise, so you let it slide, deciding to humor him anyway. it concerns you a little how you are up for whatever seokmin plans, too weak to say no to him, but you quickly erase this thought from your mind in favor of concentrating on the game. it makes your heart race a little, no matter how much you want to deny it; this proximity to seokmin makes you a bit giddy inside. 'ready?' you ask, carefully putting one end of the straw in your mouth.

seokmin swallows, staring up at you. maybe it was a bad idea - how he is supposed to keep his cool when you're this close? but there's no stepping back now, so he nods and lightly bites another end of the straw with his teeth, looking up at you. it's only the beginning but he can literally feel sweat running down his temple, because you are right there, so close, he can just take two big bites and your lips will touch. there's a hope in him, burning low somewhere in his heart that his feelings are not unrequited. that sometime between you two laughing so hard that your tummies hurt and deep conversations in hushed voices that felt too intimate for just friends - he just hopes that somewhere between those times you also fell for him.

'seokkie!' you grumble indignantly, when he takes a huge bite, instantly coming up super close to you. 'ugh.'

without thinking, you aso take a big bite just to piss him off but when your noses almost touch, you halt in surprise. you try to gauge seokmin's reaction, but his face gives nothing away; his big chocolate eyes are trained on you with such intensity that you're scared to move, intuitively understanding that pulling back right now will ruin something unspoken. carefully, not taking his eyes off you, seokmin takes a small bite, cutting short distance between you two to the point that one more move and your lips will touch. you are frozen, heart also stopped beating while mind is running frantically - what to do? but seokmin solves this puzzle for you - he leans in, takes one more bite and connects your mouths together. it's not a full kiss, but it's a not a simple peck either, you both pull back to actually chew and swallow strawberry bites and-

seokmin's hand on the back of your neck is heavy and warm. hedraws you back with a gentle force, making it clear that you can easily free yourself but also making it clear that this is not what he wants. 'tell me i'm not wrong or crazy,' he whispers, bringing your foreheads together. 'i- i just can't-' he takes a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking at you. the amount of hope and longing in his gaze shakes you to the core. 'can i kiss you? for real?'

you have no idea how you're still standing because your heart gave up long time ago. you nod and your heart starts beating again when seokmin's lips touch yours - hesitantly, at first. but then diving in deeper, more confidently, drawing out sounds from you that surprise you both. when you lean back, he keeps you two so close that you wonder if he can hear how loudly your heart is beating.

'i like you,' seokmin lets out. 'in case it wasn't clear.'

you giggle at this. 'it's mutual, seokkie.'

he sighs in relief, hugging you tight. seokmin fears that this is all a dream and when he wakes up, it will all be gone. so while you can't see, he pinches himself lightly and hugs you even tighter when he realizes that you did not disappear.

'i owe you guys.' seokmin says, looking seriously at the pack of pepero. 'thanks.'

you slap his chest, laughing. 'we both owe them!'

a/n: oh to play pepero with lee seokmin :((( hopefully you liked it, let me know! - nini

my other seventeen works are here

[cookiekissers]

This one's a little personal and idk if you'll do it but maybe Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla standing up for a reader who's being screamed at by their coworker?? Happened to me recently and it felt awful :,) (both separate hcs)

[Pure Vanilla Cookie & Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader]

[head canons] [fluff]

Sorry this is a bit late anon, sorry to hear that happened to you and I hope you're doing better 🫶

[Pure Vanilla Cookie]

Pure Vanilla Cookie would hear the commotion and come running to your aid right away.

He would physically put himself between you and your coworker and keep them away from you until they tire themselves out enough so that he can figure out what happened.

He would quickly pacify your angry coworker, as that's something he's very good at due to his calming voice and gentle demeanor.

If you made a mistake, he can understand the frustration, but surely that's no reason to yell at you like that!

Pure Vanilla Cookie will give you an opportunity to go on a short break to calm yourself down and he will step in to help fix whatever problem that has your coworker so upset.

Pure Vanilla will vouch for you no matter what, and will resolve the situation peacefully.

After things have calmed down, he will check up on you with a snack in the break room to see if you're ok.

Pure Vanilla will comfort you as much as you need. Even if you made a mistake and it is your fault, he will stay with you and promises to help you fix it.

Later he would probably mention your coworker's outburst at you to a manager. Doing something like that is very unprofessional and unacceptable, especially if you didn't deserve it! There are many different ways to handle workplace conflict than screaming at someone.

[Shadow Milk Cookie]

Shadow Milk is not as nice as Pure Vanilla is when it comes to confronting your angry coworker.

He will very quickly butt into the "conversation" and quite directly tell your coworker to "shut up." Shadow Milk doesn't care if they start screaming at him next. He can take it.

Shadow Milk will point out that your coworker is embarrassing themselves by causing a scene in front of everyone, and point out all the people staring.

He will secretly cause a scene elsewhere and tell them to handle it, and while your coworker is distracted, he comforts you and brings you to a quiet area for you to calm down. Shadow Milk will also make an effort to crack a few jokes to make you smile.

This coworker is now on Shadow Milk's shit list for yelling at you. Of course, everything he does to them will be completely petty and won't be able to be traced back to him or you.

Shadow Milk will "accidentally" trip them, spill food on them, stealing their lunch, and start reporting them constantly for minor infractions to management.

Will talk shit behind their back and act sweet to their face. He will make you feel better about the situation, if your mind ever lingers on the painful memory of being yelled at, Shadow Milk will distract you with a catty comment about your coworker.

Shadow Milk is petty, but he'll always be on your side. If your coworker ever tries to pick a fight with you again, Shadow Milk Cookie will back you up.

[reignpage]

hi reign!!! loved today’s posts! and I did peep the “more perv! Choso” 👀🤩

question, how would the jerk men *in Eden au not canon* react to reader faking an orgasm?

have I asked this before or do I think about it so much but it feels like it does? 😭 if I have, please ignore this reign!

much love! 💕💕

ps: who’s your bts bias??? 👀👀👀

Yes yes I have it saved in my drafts and I’m just wondering if it’s too weird in a not good way and more funny instead of sexy lol

Gojo:

Would devastate him omg he’d actually die like he’d pull out and crawl up in a corner, rocking himself back and forth butt naked

Imagine fumbling a goth princess baddie

If she’s not in a mood, he visibly relaxes, lying on the floor dick pointing up and smiles at her gummy and toothy, says that’s perfectly fine and he’s actually really hungry

If she’s playing a prank, he becomes playfully competitive, resuming the sex and challenging her to not cum as he does everything he can to make her do so

Geto:

Concerned and guilty

Maybe he pushed too hard, hurt her accidentally or something and she felt the need to end it sooner to placate him

He’ll pause the scene, get her some water, and they’ll talk about it, reassure her that he never needs to fake anything with him

If she’s just not in a mood, then he reminds her of the rules, that she has the power to stop whenever she wants

If she’s playing a prank, she gets punished, maybe with some edging, that this way she won’t be able to fake an orgasm because she can’t have one

Choso:

Confused to the max. That wasn’t her usual body movements, her moans sounded exaggerated, she didn’t clench down like usual.

He’ll stop mid stroke and ask what’s wrong, if he hurt her or did something wrong

Maybe gets a little sad and ashamed if the thinks he failed

If it’s because she isn’t in the mood, then he’ll smile and kiss her, tells her it’s okay and they can watch a movie or go paint something to relax

If it’s a prank, he pouts, gets moody with her and she has to coax him back with a reward like he gets to do whatever he wants or something

Toji:

‘The fuck?’ 🤨

Interrogates her on why she’s faking shit. Do she think he’s stupid? That he wouldn’t notice? Fuck’s all the acting for?

If it’s cause she can’t, then he’ll roll his eyes playfully, tickling her and says shoulda just said so ma, coulda watched a fucking movie or something

If it’s a prank, she gets punished with more orgasms than one person could possibly stomach in one night

‘Wanna play games, yeah? Here. Ya. Fucking. Go.’

Nanami:

Concerned

Sighs and pauses, asks her what’s wrong, why she felt the need to life, why she didn’t feel she could express her feelings to him

If it’s because she just can’t get off or she’s not in the mood, he’ll stop no matter how hard he still is, and get tucked into bed, prioritising her wellbeing before anything else

If it’s a prank, he sighs again and tells her off for stressing him out. Then they continue

Sukuna:

Doesn’t give a fuck. Knowing reader, it’s another game of hers, to make him feel like he can’t pleasure her, and well he knows he can, so he ignores her games and just takes what he needs, forcing a real orgasm out of her eventually, one way or another

If reader is genuinely not in a mood, then he’d never have a chance to lay a hand on her anyways. All she has to do is fix him a look and then he’s grumbling and sorting it out himself

If reader is indeed playing a game, then she’s in for a rough time just as she had intended the whole time

[psalm22-6]

Source: The Catholic Northwest Progress, 22 October 1920

Written by Rev. Albert Muntsch, S. J., for the Press Bulletin Service of the C. B. of the C. V. Catholic teachers are so often asked why the Church forbids the reading of Hugo’s “Notre Dame de Paris” (The Hunchback of Notre Dame), and of “Les Miserables” that it seems worth while to set forth briefly the reasons of this condemnation. Both works are explicitly condemned, the former in a decree of July 28, 1834, the latter in one of June 20, 1864. Popular opinion ranks both books among the outstanding productions of world-literature. Those who share this view are frequently unable to give any reasonable ground for their admiration. They have heard others speak in glowing terms of the romances and have never formed an opinion based on close reading. Unfortunately, many books which have no literary or artistic value whatever thus achieve a wide reputation which all the opposition of sound criticism cannot restrict to sober limits. [. . .] "Les Miserables," a social romance, begun in 1848, was finished in 1862, and is an indictment against the existing order of society. The work glorifies opposition to the established social order, and though some of the characters are inspired by high ideals, the tendency of the work, as a whole, is revolutionary and unsound. It may be called a great Socialistic epic. There are of course eloquent pages in the book, and the social evils so mercilessly exposed, unfortunately weigh heavily upon large sections of every community. But this does not justify the tenor of the development of the tale. There is not only no need to spread a sentimental halo around an unfortunate mother like Fantine, from whom the first part of the story is named, but it is ethically wrong to do so. A moral transgression is always deserving of censure, and the writer who uses his literary art to ennoble wrongdoing is an enemy to society. His book ought to be branded as evil. As an illustration of the method employed by Hugo to belittle, and even to calumniate, as much as lay in his power, a sacred institution of the Church, we mention the strange and shockingly grotesque picture of religious orders in Part 11, Book 7, of “Les Miserables.” We read: “From the point of view of history, of reason. and of truth, monachism (the religious life), is condemned. . . . Monasteries . . . are detestable in the nineteenth century." In the same paragraph it is said that Italy and Spain are beginning to recover from the curse of monasticism, “thanks to the sane and vigorous hygiene of 1789 (the French Revolution).” The long eulogy of the bishop in the opening chapters of the book make this distorted and calumnious sketch all the more abominable. For unthinking persons may be led to believe that Hugo writes as a loyal son of the Church. No matter how one regards “the Index of Forbidden Books” drawn up by the Church, an unbiased mind will recognize the wisdom of the precautionary measures taken by her to safeguard the spiritual interests of her children. That promiscuous reading of pernicious literature has caused untold harm, no one can deny. A large amount of the irreligiousness of the modern world and the general looseness of morals may be attributed to the vicious productions of the press. Just now the works of Blasco Ibanez are widely advertised “with a great noise of tomtoms and circus paradings,” as one critic has well expressed it. But works like “The Shadow of the Cathedral” sow the seeds of anarchy and discontent among unthinking classes. To banish them from our people, or at least to restrict the sphere of their civil influence, is not an offense against art, but a high form of social service.

[animeyanderelover]

Request: For my second request I would like for Haruhi (OHSHC), Misa (Death Note), Asa (Chainsaw Man), Uruaka (MHA), Kiyoko and Hinata (Haikyu), Rin and Bachira (Blue Lock), Illumi and Pokkle (HXH) where their darling is confessing to the yandere that they feel the same as them and return their feelings for them, but says they can't be together because they are both the same gender? and tells the yanderes “I wish you were a boy/girl?”

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, manipulation, blackmailing, abduction, isolation, murder, female reader with female character, male reader with male character

Tags: @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @hyakki-yosai @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59 @killuagirly

I wish you were a boy/girl

Illumi Zoldyck

🤎​All you receive from Illumi after you have told him that the two of you can't be together because he is a man is that long and blank stare accompanied with the wonderful awkward silence that disables you to speak up. Frankly spoken, Illumi doesn't care too much about the fact that he has fallen in love with another man. No, he is quite confused instead as he doesn't understand why you instead reject him despite feeling the same. The way he tilts his head would be almost cute if his eyes wouldn't pierce your very soul at the moment. When he eventually asks you if you could explain it to him all whilst he finally blinks threateningly slow the tension in the air is so thick that you could cut it with a knife. No matter how you explain it to him though, your words hold no weight in his mind. The only thing that matters to him is the fact that you reciprocate his emotions and if someone within your surroundings stops the two of you, he will kill them. It's as simple as that. Once you are within the walls of the Zoldyck mansion Illumi will make sure that no one questions the two of you. As long as he fucks someone and has some heirs he is free to love whoever he wants after all.

Pokkle

🏹​Pokkle goes through the five stages of grief only that he never arrives at the stage of acceptance. He's in denial at the beginning because within all of his infatuation and all the insecurities somehow he never once considered that maybe you wouldn't feel attracted to him simply because he is of the same sex as you are. After the denial follows immediately the depression as he retreats from your sight. By no means is he avoiding you though, still stalking behind you though with a lot more grief within his heart. It's very likely that he is soon going to reach a breaking point though. You see, Pokkle is very much dependent on attention and love from his darling which will ultimately lead his mind to be able to only repeat one thing. That you still love him. Love conquers anything after all so why would you let yourself be stopped just because he is biologically a man? As soon as he starts drifting into that thought process it is over for you as that is the moment Pokkle will turn densely delusional out of desperation. An abduction will follow soon after as Pokkle is convinced that you just need to realise that it doesn't matter that the two of you are both men as he will prove to you that he is better than a woman.

Amane Misa

💄​Whatever it is that you say to her it all becomes irrelevant in her mind the moment you make the mistake of confessing to her that you feel the same as she does. Misa immediately latches on to those words as they are the only words she hears. Misa is awfully possessive of her darling and delusional to top it all which is a dangerous combination. The first thing that she does as soon as you have ended your speech is just give you a long and giddy kiss as she decides to ignore whatever it was you spoke after admitting to her that you love her too. Why, you may ask? Because it doesn't matter to her. You return her feelings and that is all that she really needs to hear and know. Still, it is not like she is completely oblivious as you notice that she is so much clingier and affectionate whenever the two of you are around other men. Her facade is still all cute smiles but there is that dangerous look in her eyes. Jealousy is as natural as breathing for Misa and if she believes that someone is threatening your relationship, she will write his name down in her Death Note. So even if you try to get together with a man, she will ensure that he is going to drop dead in the most gruesome way possible.

Uraraka Ochaco

🎈​Ochaco considered the two of you to be a wonderful match. You have known each other for so long after all. In her mind there has never been a question about who she would end up with later on in her life but she realises that she has been too optimistic when you tell her that you cannot see yourself with her because she is also a girl. She swallows it all down though and only gives you a weak smile, assuring you that it's alright. Obviously the relationship takes a turn for the worse between the two of you and she can't accept that. Something has to be done or else she is going to lose you completely. Obviously she will feel guilty the moment she starts subtly sabotaging and manipulating you but whenever she meets a guy you like, she is hard-wired to notice everything about him that you wouldn't like later on because she knows you too well. Small mistakes like inviting you to food that you don't like are already enough to have her doubt that you will be happy with him. She starts pointing out everything about appearance or personality on a guy that she knows you don't like and always speaks up when he does something you don't like to show you that she knows you best after all.

Hinata Shoyo

☀️​Being heavily delusional by nature, someone like Hinata is going to be difficult to handle when it comes to any type of rejection in general. All of it is made much worse though when you foolishly confess to feeling the same way as he does though. Even as you tell him that the two of you can't be together and even if his heart is hurting, Hinata doesn't feel any despair. How could he after all? If the love between the two of you is mutual after all then there is nothing he has to be worried about. That settles it in Shoyo's mind. The two of you are a couple and the very next morning he is totally going to act his part of it. He's elated, a bright grin on his face as he tells all his friends that you reciprocate his feelings. He's affectionate, grabs your hands and hugs you from behind. Rumors quickly spread which leave you no choice but to confront him, absolutely flabbergasted and in shock from what he has done. If you are going to get angry with him be prepared for the waterworks though as Hinata will just yell back that you told him that you loved him. Why does sex even matter then when the both of you feel the same? You... you wouldn't drop him only to be together with a girl after all, would you?

Shimizu Kiyoko

🖤​Kiyoko keeps a stoic expression when you admit to her your inner conflict before just giving you a curt nod and leaving. She is not someone who openly reveals her affection for you as she is for starters aware that her feelings aren't exactly your typical highschool romance and additionally she prefers observation as she would never confess mindlessly only to get her feelings hurt. In that moment she is glad that she has never revealed just how much you mean to her as otherwise things between the two of you would have been much more awkward. However, she is not completely hurt as the fact remains that you still love her too. That is something that she can work with. There is after all a path that can be taken in this situation and all she has to do is build it now. Perhaps it is time to step out of her shell and show you just how much she cares about you and how well she knows you. She will swiftly and bluntly point out everything at fault within a guy when you introduce him to her the moment she notices that he says or does something you are uncomfortable with all whilst she herself inserts herself more into your life, providing the support and assistance that you need in that moment.

Fujioka Haruhi

👑​Haruhi is to her defence not going to be your biggest worry that you have in the beginning. I would consider Tamaki to be the bigger menace at first when he finds out that Haruhi has been dumped by you because she is a girl. He's extremely protective of her and is most likely going to tell you multiple sob stories in the hope that you may reconsider your words. To Haruhi herself gender has never really mattered that much as she doesn't think that it should restrict someone within society, a very open-minded opinion that you don't seem to share. To her it has never mattered that you are a girl but it matters to you and a part of her understands where those prejudices may come from. It is not within Haruhi's assets to beat around the bush though, she is going to be very straightforward and ask you soon for a clearer reason for why exactly you can't be together with her. If you wouldn't be into girls it would be one thing but since you have confessed to her that you return her love she knows that this isn't the case which is why she is unwilling to give up. She's still friendly and welcoming but Haruhi is very stubborn and the topic will come up in conversations since she doesn't see the need to lie.

Mikata Asa

▪️​Asa isn't in general known as someone who deals with failure or anything that doesn't go her way very well so this is initially not going to end up any better. The moment you tell her that you can't be together with you her initial reaction is to simply insult you and everyone she knows you have a friendly relationship with. All of her pain is buried deep within as she exposes her mean-spirited side before she walks away with her chin held high. Her meltdown only happens once she is all alone and has no one to project her pain on anymore, spiralling down into her hole of insecurity and self-hatred. She wants to prove herself as worthy, she wants you to choose her but she lacks any comprehension of social skills to do so. However, if there is one thing that she latches on to it is the fact that you admitted that you still love her even though you can't be with her. That has to mean something, doesn't it? It's those words she clings to, it's those words that push her to go on with a constant mixture of anger, jealousy and hope within her. She stalks you everywhere you go, she insults every man that gets too close with you all whilst she tries in a severely wrong attempt to show you her worth.

Bachira Meguru

💛​I'll just be honest and say right away that he is not going to care about what you have to say. Bachira gladly allows his delusional streak to solve all problems for him which allows for such an unmatched level of optimism which you would better not break. You just have to make it worse by admitting to him your own feelings which only solidifies everything within Bachira's thoughts as his actions from that day on are justified. You love him so there should be no problem at all for any of his actions after all. If you try to avoid him the best of luck because this guy is going to pop up everywhere where you are. Not to mention the lovely surprise visits that he likes to do, appearing unannounced in front of your door and asking to be let in with a grin on his face. He's so handsy with you, it is almost maddening. Meguru is constantly touching you somehow. He jumps on your back from behind, he tugs at your sleeves when he wants attention, he grabs your hand in his and drags you away from someone that he finds annoying. You're not going to be able to shake him off as Meguru is the human definition of a leech who won't let go. His behavior is very risky to be honest.

Itoshi Rin

🩵​Differently from Bachira Rin is much more subtle with everything though perhaps that is going to make him more dangerous than disturbing. He leaves you alone after your rejection but you would misjudge the situation severely if you were to believe that he is trying to accept everything. It's actually the complete opposite as Rin tries to tame his own demons and think of a way to get you back to his side. He can't let things slip through his hands, he can't let every single person leave him in the dust just because he isn't enough, isn't what others want him to be. It's that desperation that drives him quite far in any attempt to assure that you don't get any saying. What I'm trying to say is that after having watched the second season and having seen his flow that I believe Rin to get very destructive when he snaps which then puts everyone around you at a risk because his sole drive then is to destroy everyone who stands in his way. He starts blackmailing all sorts of people and he won't even have enough care left to spare your closed ones and you yourself get a very good slice of this ugly side of his that contrasts his normal stoic behavior on every single level.

[geneviveleocardius]

könig and his way of loving you

but dark, obsessive, psycho könig..

könig’s love is possessive, consuming, and overwhelming in the best and worst ways. he doesn’t just love you—he owns the idea of you being his. his attention is laser-focused, and he has no problem telling you (and anyone else) that you’re the most important thing in his life. he craves control and constantly ensures you’re safe, even if it means being a little too watchful.

he’s incredibly protective, to the point where you might feel suffocated at times, but he always pulls you back in with that intense, knowing gaze and the way he makes you feel like you’re the only person that matters.

he’s obsessed with your neck. it’s vulnerable, delicate, and an easy place for him to mark you as his. he’ll kiss, bite, and trace his fingers there, watching your reactions with an almost predatory satisfaction. seeing his marks on you gives him a rush—proof that you belong to him.

his hands are almost always on you. his favorites? your throat and your lower back. he’ll rest his hand lightly on your neck when you’re close, a subtle reminder of his dominance and his connection to you. when you’re out together, his hand is always at your lower back, guiding you, showing everyone that you’re his.

könig’s kisses are demanding and consuming. he doesn’t just kiss you; he devours you. he’ll press you against walls, pull your head back by your hair, and take his time tasting every inch of your mouth. sometimes, they’re rough and bruising, other times slow and tantalizing, but they’re always intense.

physical touch and words of affirmation. könig’s need to touch you borders on obsessive—he’ll always have a hand on your leg, your arm, or your face. his words are equally intense; he’ll constantly remind you how perfect you are, how lucky he is, and how no one else could ever love you the way he does. his affirmations are sometimes possessive but always heartfelt.

on your period he’s surprisingly attentive, though he has a teasing edge. he’ll make sure you have everything you need—snacks, blankets, whatever—but he’ll also relish in the intimacy of taking care of you. if you’re feeling snappy or moody, he’ll smirk and say something like, “oh, you’re fiery today, meine liebe. good—i like you like this.” he’s not shy about making you lie down and letting him massage away your cramps, his strong hands both soothing and suggestive.

he loves showing off for you, especially during workouts. when he’s doing pull-ups, he’ll purposefully slow down, flexing just to see your reaction. if you try to help by holding his legs, he’ll chuckle darkly and say something like, “you’re not really helping, but i like having you there.” sometimes, he’ll suddenly pull you up against him mid-workout, pinning you against a wall just to feel you close.

könig’s jealousy is intense and borderline frightening. he won’t yell or cause a scene, but his eyes will darken, and his demeanor will shift immediately. if someone flirts with you, he’ll make it clear—calmly, but with a quiet menace—that you’re taken. he won’t hesitate to pull you into his lap or kiss you in front of them, just to prove his point.

absolutely. könig’s possessiveness is borderline obsessive. he doesn’t just want you—he needs you to know you belong to him. he’ll mark you with bites or hickeys, subtly test your loyalty with questions, and always keep a protective eye on you. but his possessiveness comes with an intense devotion—he would destroy anyone who tried to hurt or take you away from him.

he loves towering over you and uses it to his advantage all the time. he’ll pin you against walls, hold things out of your reach just so you’ll pout at him, and lean down to whisper things in your ear in that low, teasing voice of his. he also loves how small you feel in his arms, picking you up effortlessly to remind you of his strength.

intimacy with könig is an overwhelming, almost primal experience. he’s confident and intense, always in control but deeply attuned to your needs. he takes his time exploring every inch of you, learning what makes you gasp and tremble. he’s dominant but not cruel—he worships you in his own dark, obsessive way, making sure you know that you’re his and his alone.

he has a habit of whispering possessive things in your ear, like “you’re mine, do you understand?” or “no one else will ever touch you like this.” he’s not shy about leaving marks on you, taking his time to ensure you’re completely undone by the time he’s finished.

[cakepoppresent]

Kicked Puppy

They can't stay mad at each other for too long ~

Transcript under the cut~

[Malcolm]: Hey...

[Luna]: Do I know you?

[Malcolm]: Luna...

[Luna]: I’m going to call the POLICE. “Hello? 911?”

[Malcolm]: I’m trying to apologize

[Luna]: Is that right? That’s crazy why would a stranger want to say sorry?

[Malcolm]: I know I've been a complete dick. I don’t really have an excuse but I miss you and I'm sorry

[Luna]: Is that it?

[Malcolm]: How I treated you wasn’t right. I keep saying I don’t want you to get hurt but I’m the one who’s scared of being hurt. I’ve always been the scared one and I can’t keep forcing you to be scared with me. I acted like a complete dick and punished you for trying to do something I didn’t agree with and that was wrong of me.

[Luna]: At your big age you’re still acting like a petulant child. At what point did I ever give you the impression I was scared or worried? Hmm?

[Malcolm]: ...

[Luna]: You lashed at me TWICE about this and you refuse to at least listen to me. That's not fair how do I know you won’t just get mad again? You apologizing won’t stop me from reaching out to Andre.

[Malcolm]: I know you want to see Andre...and I want to be there when you do

[Luna] No way! So you can cuss him out in person? Absolutely not.

[Malcolm]: I mean it Luna. I want to be there when you speak with Andre, I still think he’s a fucking bitch but I can hold those feelings back if it means being there with you

[Luna]: Malcolm...

[Malcolm]: I’m serious. I want to support whatever you want to do, I’ll be there every step of the way

[Luna]: Don’t you want to know what happened? He just disappeared does that sound like the Andre we know? The one who would take us out of the house if Dad was in a mood? Or would come to our teacher-parent meetings?

[Malcolm]: Does it matter? Didn’t leave a letter, send a tex or even a fucking email

[Luna]: I’m just...worried. Even when our business was exposed all over the news, Dad didn’t even reach out once.

[Malcolm]: Like I said. It’s always just been us but if you really want to find out why I’ll be there no matter what we find out

[Malcolm]: Listen. I love you Luna you mean everything to me

[Luna]: Even more than Benji?

[Malcolm]: Of course. He knows that too but that's not the point. I’m sorry and I’ll make it up to you no matter what but please believe me when I say I'll be there for you no matter what happens

[Luna]: *heh* Look at you. You look like a kicked puppy, have you been crying?

[Malcolm]: Of course not, stop talking shit. Do you accept my apology or not?

[Luna]: Oh?? I don’t think so with that bitch ass attitude

[Malcolm]: Shut the hell up. I have your fav from Santini's its in the car. I’ll drop you off at home

[Luna]: *hmph* How does Benji deal with your horrible attitude

[Malcolm]: I don’t know either. You’re gonna have to ask him yourself

[Luna]: Poor Benji. Can’t imagine having to deal with your ass everyday

[Malcolm]: Do you want the food in the car or should I throw it in the garbage?

[Luna]: I’m going to beat your ass for real

[Luna]: Oh! I know the loser that exposed our family business. I dealt with her ass today

[Malcolm]: An actress?? What the hell was her problem?

[Luna]: I don’t know but I doubt I'll be hearing from her silly ass anytime soon

[Malcolm]: Something like that seems below you. Why pay her any attention?

[Luna]: Because her face pissed me off. Let’s hope I never have to see her face again

[thatbitchery]

More on masculinity and femininity?

But Of Course. I finally have enough coffee to get through this post hehe.

For starters, I'll assume what you mean is - what you say masculinity and femininity are ix in conflict with what I've known, so clear that up. And that will be the mold I'll follow, if I even do.

Heres the easy run down. The feminine creates. The masculine sustains.

The in depth version is- the feminine calls. The masculine nurtures. The feminine is the bridge. The masculine is the utopia. Whatever it is, assuming it is on the other side of a river. The feminine calls it and allows it passage. The masculine makes sure it does not die. The feminine is. The masculine does. Everything pertaining to creation - Feminine. Everything pertaining to sustenance and survival - masculine. We could say both are energies, but it's more like a point in an energy plane. Two different yet complimentary points. Like Saturn and its rings, right? It's less those rings and more a point on those rings. Like energy fields. It's not in itself the energy, its the field the energy works on? Like magnetic fields you could say. SO to be feminine or masculine is more of changing your plane than embodying a state of being.

Which is to say you can not 'become' feminine or masculine, as a matter of fact you don't get to choose. You can perform it, you can perform gender roles and slap feminine on the pink and baby voice and masculine on the GRAAAAH but nope you don't get to choose what you become. YOUR ENVIRONMENT and the situation at hand decide for you. Eg you can be the most feminine girlie with the slvttiest uwu 5 inch waist 4'2 person on earth but if someone pointed a barrell of a gun to your face you have no choice but to instinctively survive. Then you become masculine. It's not a choice you make it's a thing you become, which is why it's a point on an energy plane and not energy- because energy does not change. But it's use can. You don't embody an energy the most you can do is master to use it so when you get to that point you know how to max it out. If you are in a space that requires survival you will fall to the masculine (Default) or if you are in the present and in a state of being you automatically fall into the feminine.

Uno. The Masculine AKA the Default energy

Even The most feminine of people spend operate primarily from the masculine. It's self explanatory? A survival species that survives is most likely to use which? It's literally there. Survival species. Survival mechanisms. The point in the plane concerned with survival. Its- Point Blank as it gets. It is possible to be fully masculine but never fully feminine because well. You exist.

Masculinity is concerned with survival which means it's most likely to adhere to the rules of survival. One such rule is hierarchy, which is why men are more naturally submissive and women need religions and cultured and podcasts to be talked into it and men thrive in areas where submission is a requirement ie the army offices etc. They need someone to submit to. Women need literal laws to be beaten into it and will still push back nah uh. In the very same way nurturing is a masculine trait because well. It's right there. Why else do every man and his dad want kids and a girlfriend that looks and acts like a kid? To provide for and to protect, does it get more nurturing than that? Masculinity is sustenance. To sustain life is to nurture it? It's right there. See how masculine single moms are? Moms of more than two kids? Nannies? to sustain life requires masculinity. Feminine people don't even like pets. Masculinity is the easiest to master because it's default.

Two- Femininity. Femininity is the art of being. It's the art of surrender (not submission) and indifference. Back to the flower and bridge analogy- The bridge has to completely surrender to the flower and to the environment and let it pass and be completely indifferent to what happens to it after it crosses. Or, the pot on the fire analogy- the pot is just a means of transfer. The pot does not care if the heat is too much or too little for whatever is in the pot it just transfers heat. It has to completely surrender to the fire, risking the possibility it could get ruined. It's indifferent. It's the tool of transfer. It's not as much creating as it is being the portal through which things pass into being? The bridge? It is the hardest to master because it requires complete detachment, indifference, surrender and grounding. You have to- just be. That's it that's femininity. Just- be.

I hope this helps.

[mymindisneverhere]

Other Side

summary: Kelvin tries to break you out of your shell… unaware of who would actually come out.

warnings: 18+ SMUT, MDNI!, shy black fem!reader (kinda), small mention of depression, oral sex, fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names. (Forgive me if I forgot any)

(a/n: I licked the screen a few times when I came across this picture but that’s not important. 🫢)

“Kelvin!” He heard his name being called from across the room causing him to snap his head in the direction of the voice. 

“Yo!” Kelvin said, pointing to his long time friend Aaron. He made his way through the crowd of people on the dance floor until he reached his friend. “What’s up bro? It’s good to see you.” 

“You as well bro!” The London native spoke over the loud music. Aaron and Kelvin slapped hands and pulled each other into the universal bro hug before falling into conversation. “You didn’t get lost did you?”

“Nah, I mean the sign is big as hell on the front of the building.” Kelvin said. “But man, I can’t believe you actually came out and came to a club at that.”

“It’s my girls birthday tonight bro, she begged me to drive her and her friends around for the day.” Aaron said.

“I was about to say, she must’ve dragged your ass out the house cause ain’t no way you came on your own.” Kelvin joked, receiving an annoyed look from Aaron. 

“Whatever man.” He said, returning his attention to the dance floor where his girlfriend stood with one of her best friends.

Kelvin stood next to Aaron, eyeing the crowd as he nodded his head to the music blasting throughout the club. The men stood against the wall chatting about the atmosphere in the late night lounge, ordering drinks and speaking to some friends that passed by occasionally. 

Kelvin continued sipping on the alcoholic beverage as his eyes scanned the crowd until they landed on you. He slowly lowered the cup from his lips as he watched you make your way to the dance floor. Your beauty had him stuck in a trance.  

Your beautiful brown skin glowed under the blue and pink lighting that flashed from the ceiling. You wore a white halter top and matching mini skirt that hugged your hips just right and put your legs on full display. Your thick thighs glistened from the body shimmer you wore as you took steps across the floor. Your strapped heels elongated your legs causing you to appear much taller than you actually were. 

Kelvin stared at you as you joined your two best friends on the dance floor. You hugged your best friend Tati before finally pulling Jamie, the birthday girl, into a warm embrace. He watched as Jamie whispered to you, causing you both to turn and look up at the two men that were already eyeing you guys. You all waved, mainly to speak to Aaron but Kelvin waved back so caught up in the trance you had unintentionally lured him into. You all turned back around and fell back into the beat of the music but Kelvin kept his eyes on you. 

“Bro, who is that?” Kelvin asked, tapping Aaron on the shoulder. 

Aaron frowned and followed Kelvin’s eyes that were still glued to you. “Who? Y/N?” 

“All white with the legs? Her name is Y/N?” Kelvin asked. 

“Yeah man, that’s Jamie’s best friend.” Aaron said. He looked down at Kelvin and noticed the look of awe on his face, practically drooling as his mouth hung open. “Take a picture man, it’ll last longer.” 

Kelvin smacked his lips, finally taking his eyes off you and cutting them at Aaron. 

“Relax bro, she’s not one to date.” Aaron started, “She’s super shy, very quiet. She barely says two words to me when she comes over to visit Jamie. She’s extremely introverted.”

“So?” Kelvin asked, shrugging his shoulders. “What does that mean?”  

“She probably won’t talk to you because you’re always on 10 no matter where you are.” 

Kelvin paused and looked over at Aaron. “That never stopped you from hanging with me.” 

“I tolerate you, there’s a difference.” Aaron joked, before taking a sip of his beverage. 

“Wow, okay.” Kelvin said, playfully rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. “I bet I can get her to talk to me, everyone loves me.”

Aaron’s eyebrows raised as he stopped himself from uttering another smart remark to his friend. “Whatever you say man.” 

Kelvin and Aaron continued going back and forth, betting on whether or not Kelvin would be able to have a full conversation with you. After a long argument, the two men decided to bet only $100 if Kelvin could get you to talk to him before the night was over. 

“Where are y’all going after this?” 

“Dinner at Grand Lux.” 

“Perfect, we’ll chat over dinner, I’ll pay for her food.” Kelvin said. “I’ll even offer to take her home cause I’m a gentleman.”

You danced with your girls as the three of you stood a few feet away from the DJ booth. You all moved your hips to the beat, flipping your hair over your shoulders and hyping each other up one at a time. It took you a few minutes to get comfortable on the dance floor. All it had taken was the DJ playing your favorite song “Where Them Girls At by Megan Thee Stallion” and you were falling into your own rhythm with your friends being your personal hype girls. 

“Okay Y/N, it’s about time you popped out girl!” Tati yelled over the loud music. 

“I know right!” Jamie said. “She’s finally having a good time after keeping herself in the house, hiding out from the world.” 

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes, laughing at your friends. 

Tati looked over where Aaron stood with Kelvin and her eyes almost jumped out of her head. “How the hell did you manage to get Grandpa out of the house?” Tati asked, still dancing to the music. 

“I told him if he did this favor for me then I’d do one for him all night.” Jamie responded with a smirk on her face. 

You and Tati rolled your eyes, instantly catching onto exactly what Jamie had been referring to. 

“I don’t wanna start nothing but his friend has been starin’ at Y/N since she walked in.” Tati said, looking over at Chelsea. 

“He’s still staring as we speak.” Jaime said. 

You all turned to look over to see him staring. The two men waved at you once more which caused you to quickly turn your attention back to your friends. 

“I’m not interested.” You said, trying to hide yourself from his gaze. 

“Come on Y/N, it’s been forever since the breakup.” Jamie said. “Plus he’s super cool, he has a beautiful smile and he is funny as hell, just your type! He and Aaron have been friends for years, I think you should talk to him.”

“I’m good Jamie, besides it’s your night. I didn’t come out looking for a man.” You said, trying to take the attention off of you and revert it back to the birthday girl. 

Tati and Jamie exchanged a knowing look between one another but decided to leave the situation alone. After you found out about your ex-boyfriend cheating on you with an old friend, you slowly sank into a deep depression. You stopped going out, stopped answering phone calls and stopped caring about how you looked or what you wore. What was only supposed to be a few months of recovery from the break up, ended up being an entire year of hiding out. 

However, thanks to your friends Jamie and Tati, you were slowly coming back to yourself. Although you weren’t the life of the party type of girl, you always managed to have a good time when you were with them. You were shy, you were reserved, and sometimes a bit reluctant when it came to going after the things that you wanted. But somehow, you’d always find yourself neglecting your shyness and converting to your “alter ego”. 

Jamie was well aware of your ability to let loose but because it rarely occurred you guys never spoke about it. Jamie had been the only person to know about your “other side” until you introduced that part of you to your now ex-boyfriend. Due to the fact that he’d taken advantage of you, completely betraying your trust and acting as if you meant nothing to him, this made you never want to introduce that part of herself to anyone ever again… especially a man. 

“Aaron’s outside waiting for us. We’re heading downtown to Grand Lux after we leave here.” Jamie announced to the two of you. 

You both nodded and made your way to the bathroom holding hands as you broke through the crowd of people. Each of you took a look in the mirror before applying another layer of gloss, fluffing your hair and entering the stalls to finish your business. 

You stood in the stall and took a few deep breaths attempting to mentally prepare yourself for dinner at Grand Lux. Your nerves were getting the best of you. You had managed to avoid men, not even giving them the smallest of conversation. But you knew that there would be no ending the night without interacting with Kelvin. 

‘God please don’t let him sit next to me. He is too damn fine.’ You thought to yourself. 

“Y/N you alright in there?” Tati said, banging on the stall door. 

“Yeah, I was just checking my phone.” You replied, raising your foot to flush the toilet. 

You stepped out of the stall and made your way to the sink to wash your hands. You took one last look at yourself in the mirror and turned to Jamie. After running down the route to the restaurant and approximately how long it’ll take to get there, the three of you were all set and ready to go. 

————————————-

“What took you all so long?” Aaron asked, staring down at Jamie. 

“Girl stuff.” She replied as she took his hand and stepped into the all black truck, taking a seat directly behind his chair. 

Aaron stood and helped you and Tati into the truck as well before closing the door and getting into the driver's seat. 

“Babe, where’s Kelvin?” Jamie asked. 

“He’s going to meet us there.” Aaron responded, putting the car in drive and pulling out of the club's parking lot. 

The three of you fell into conversation completely ignoring the fact that Aaron was upfront, able to hear every word. 

“You’re not nervous are you?” 

“No it’s just that-“ You began, “It’s been so long, too long, since I’ve even looked at a guy. I don’t think I’m ready to entertain someone right now.” 

“Look, nobody is saying you have to take him seriously or get with him to see if he’s husband material.” Tati said. 

“Right!” Jamie agreed. “Just have a little fun with him. There’ll already be a friend there for Tati and now there’s a friend for you.” 

You looked between the two girls unsure of what to say next. You were contemplating on whether or not you should take their advice or continue to avoid men who showed any interest in you. Letting out a breath, you sat back in your seat and nodded, deciding to take one for the team. 

“He's a pretty cool guy.” Aaron casually stated, interrupting you guys’ conversation. The three of you snapped your heads in his direction, completely confused on why he was even entering the conversation to begin with. 

“Sorry.” He said, looking into the rear view mirror quickly before returning his eyes to the road. 

“He is a cool guy though.” Jamie said, turning to you. “Trust me, you’ll have fun.” 

‘They’re right, just have fun. Nothing serious.’ You thought. 

“Okay, let’s see how the night goes.” You  finally said, causing your friends to both squeal in excitement. 

———��——————————————

You all sat around a large table enjoying your meals and joining in conversations. Jaime sat next to Aaron who sat next to Kelvin who sat next to you…  who had been picking over your food since it arrived at the table. Your nerves wouldn’t allow you to even take a nibble of the pasta that sat in front of you. 

Kelvin had tried his hardest to get you to engage in conversation but it wasn’t going too well. Your short responses never left room for the conversation to go any further, eventually leading to an awkward silence after each attempt. 

“Ow!” You yelped, reaching down to rub your knee after you felt a sharp heel kick you. 

“You okay?” Kelvin asked, looking over at you in concern. 

You looked up at Tati who was staring at you with wide eyes. You frowned as you watched Tatis lips move without sound. 

“Say something!” Tati mouthed, moving her lips in exaggeration to be sure you understood her. 

“Yeah I’m fine, just moving too much I guess.” You responded with a nervous chuckle. “I didn’t scare you did I?” 

“Nah, of course not.” Kelvin stated. “It’s okay though, I’m always bumping into stuff.

Kelvin’s attempt at easing the embarrassment he saw in your face had worked as a small smile crept onto your face. 

“So how was it starring in such a classic film?” You asked, looking over at him. You could see the shock in his face before it quickly washed away. He couldn’t believe you were actually asking him a question after thirty minutes of him playing 21 questions with you. 

“Man it was so much, let me tell you about it.” Kelvin instantly fell deep into the story of how it felt to be working with some of the most talented people in the industry. You were so caught up in his storytelling, you didn’t notice the waiter place a tall martini next to your water that had gone untouched. You could see Jamie’s hand waving at you from the corner of your eye. 

“I got you a drink!” She whispered, trying her hardest not to interrupt your talk with Kelvin. 

Leaning up from the table, you reached over to grab the drink and began taking small sips from the glass. After a few more minutes of engaging in conversation, and another martini, you were feeling the effects of the alcohol. The more Kelvin spoke, the more it was hard to focus on his eyes because his lips were catching your attention with every word he said. Your eyes slightly fell low as they landed on his lips and then back onto his eyes. The expression in your face didn’t go unnoticed as Kelvin slowly stopped talking, watching your eyes dart slowly back and forth between his mouth and his eyes. 

You weren’t doing this on purpose but it was something about you and your liquor that just brought out that other side of you. You could feel a slight throbbing between your legs as he slowly pressed his back against his chair. He was slightly matching your energy, unsure if he was doing too much or if he was even in control of what he was doing. It was as if the more he stared at you, the less power he had over his own body. 

”Why did you stop talking?” You asked, genuinely confused as to why he became so silent. 

“Uh, I don’t even know.” He said, sitting up straight and snatching his eyes off of you. He looked down at his plate and then back over to you before quickly tearing them from your gaze again and looking elsewhere. You placed your elbow onto the table and rested your chin in your hand.

“I would love to hear the rest if you’re still interested in telling me about it.” Your voice had become a bit calm, almost too calm. Kelvin was struggling with keeping his eyes on yours, your gaze was too intense for him. He had sensed the shift in your energy and was completely taken aback by the effect it was having on him. 

“Uh yeah, sure. I- uh,” He started, pushing himself further into the table, trying to hide what was happening below his waist. Kelvin was few seconds too late, seeing as though you had already noticed the slight bulge in his pants. You licked your lips as the images of him fucking your throat invading your thoughts. 

“Y/N, we’re getting ready to leave. You coming?” Jamie asked, raising her brows hoping you would say…

”Actually, Kelvin’s gonna take me home.” You said, before looking at him. “You’re okay with that right?”

”Yeah, for sure.” He nodded quickly, still refusing to meet your eyes. 

“Okay girl, you two be safe!” Tati winked at you, hinting at your drive home and any other activities that may take place between you and Kelvin. 

———————————-

The ride to your apartment was silent, mainly because Kelvin was at a loss for words. He was excited to talk to you, he had looked forward to it since he laid eyes on you at the club but for some reason he was feeling too many things that would contradict his claim at being a gentleman.

The same trance he was in at the club had managed to creep back up on him. Only it had been more intense, a bit more than he could handle. Having you close up, staring into his soul was damn near hypnotizing. He wasn’t a man who shied away from anything but you had him feeling nervous to look over at you, afraid he might fall into the trance all while driving. He didn’t wanna fall victim to your eyes once again.  

”You know, I was nervous to talk to you at first.” You said, looking over at him as he drove.

”Really?” He asked. “Why is that?”

”It’s just been a while since I’ve talked to a guy.” You turned your body toward him causing him to look out the corner of his eye. “Something as simple as casual conversation seemed like too much to handle but you're really easy to talk to.”

”That’s good to hear, I’m glad I could ease some of the tension.” He said, smiling slightly. 

“Can I ease yours?” You could tell this question caught him off guard as you felt your body jerk against the seatbelt. He had accidentally pressed the break a bit too hard, making you both lean forward a bit. 

“Sorry.” He laughed nervously, quickly looking over at you then back to the road. “I’m not feeling any tension right now.”

”I can see it.” You said, dropping your eyes to his crotch before returning them back to his face. 

“I mean but I’d like to think of myself as a gentleman. I just met you, you just met me.” Kelvin was babbling, panicking at your sudden change in demeanor. You had managed to go from timid to down right audacious, completely catching him off guard. He didn't know what to think at this moment, let alone what to say. You smirked to yourself, enjoying the power you were having over him. You had been so hung up on saving the other side of you for someone special, completely neglecting the fact that you deserved a good time as well. Who said you couldn’t let that other part of you come out and play for just one night? 

“Can you multitask?” You asked, sitting up in the passenger seat. 

“Uh, yeah. Why?” Kelvin said, shifting his gaze between you and the road. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he tried to imagine what you were about to do. 

You smirked before undoing your seatbelt and sitting up on your knees, lightly leaning over the armrest. Kelvin’s eyes cut to the corners as he watched you reach for his belt. The sound of the buckle jiggling was the only sound in the car as you worked on pulling his dick out of his pants. 

“You don’t wanna um- wait until um- the car is parked?” Kelvin asked nervously, still struggling to keep his eyes on the road. 

“No.” 

You pulled at the waist of pants until his dick sprang up. You bit down on your lip as you looked down at it. It was exactly what you expected, thick and veiny. You bent down and wrapped your lips around the head earning a sigh of satisfaction from Kelvin. Quickly coating the head with your saliva, you leaned down even further to take in more of him. He reached over to run his hand down your ass, pressing his fingers against the wet spot in your panties. 

You bobbed your head up and down, feeling his legs underneath you jump a bit. He was having a hard time keeping his speed consistent. Each time you took all of him in he’d press the gas harder, causing your body to rock a bit from the jerk of the car. 

“Fuck!” He spat, slapping your ass before running his fingers down your center. Moving as quickly as he could without interrupting his driving, he hooked a finger underneath your thong and pulled it around your ass cheek. 

Lifting up a bit, you moaned in excitement already knowing what he was going to do. 

“I thought you were a gentleman?” You asked playfully. 

“I am.” He responded. 

Kelvin dipped a finger into your folds, biting down on his lip at how wet you were. You were so tight around his finger, he could only imagine how good you were gonna feel around his dick. 

You took him back into your mouth, slurping and sucking while he fingered you. You wrapped your hand around the base of his dick and ran your tongue along the underside, focusing most of your attention on the head. You noticed how his breathing changed when you did this, listening carefully as he took in a sharp breath. 

Finally catching a red light, he gently pressed his foot against the break and snatched his hand from the wheel. You yelped lightly as you felt his hand against the back of your neck, pushing your head up and down on his dick. He sat back and rested his head against the driver's seat, cursing from the narrow feeling of your throat. 

He pushed two fingers into your pussy and rolled his wrist, pushing them back and forth into you. His fingers matched the pace of his hand on your neck. A groan left his lips as he heard the sounds your pussy was making, wet and creamy from the taste of him along your tongue. 

So caught up in the scene before him, he sat up quickly when he heard a car behind him honk their horn. He placed his hand back onto the steering wheel and pressed the gas. 

“I’m fucking you up when we get to your house.” He said, removing his fingers from your pussy and slapping your ass a few more times. 

“You promise?” 

———————————————————

You assumed the position on your queen size bed, all fours with your ass in the air. You rocked your hips a bit making your ass jiggle as Kelvin stood behind you eyeing you with low eyes. You were both completely undressed, only space and opportunity standing between the two of you. Kelvin stood just a few feet from the bed, dick standing at full attention as he licked his lips in anticipation.  

“You gonna stare at my ass all night or you gonna fuck me up like you said?” You smirked, looking over your shoulder at him. 

He walked up to you and placed a hand on your back as he positioned himself right at your entrance. Slowly thrusting his hips forward, he pushed his dick into you cursing underneath his breath at how tight you were. You both shut your eyes, taking in the feeling of one another. He was so thick, stretching you just right with every inch. You pussy fluttered a bit, trying to adjust to his girth.  

“So fucking tight.” He said, gripping both sides of your hips. 

Without hesitation, he thrusted in and out of you, staring down at your ass as it jiggled from impact. Your hands dug into the sheets, gripping them tightly as your body rocked with each stroke he gave you. You coated his dick so well, the creaminess pushing to the base with every thrust. 

“Look at that shit.” He said, slapping your ass to watch it jiggle even more. “You hear that pussy baby?”

“Yes!” You let out in an exaggerated breath. You could hardly focus on his words. Your eyes were barely open as you surrendered to the pleasure he brought you. You felt his hand creep up your back and grip onto your neck. In a quick motion, he pressed your face into the mattress, slamming his hips into yours repeatedly. 

The only sounds in the room were your loud moans, the gushy noise coming for your pussy and his skin slapping against yours. You felt your walls begin to ache around him, a release threatening to escape your hole. 

“Ohh fuucck.” You whined, your words getting lost in the sheets your face was buried in. 

“I feel that shit coming.” Kelvin was already catching on to your reflexes. He could feel your walls contract around his dick as you grew wetter with every stroke. “Cum on that dick baby.” 

“Fuck yes! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” You yelled, encouraging him to fall even deeper into you. 

He lifted a leg onto the bed, never ending the rhythm that was sending you into a frenzy. His balls slapped against your clit, working you over twice more than before. The creaminess that dripped from your hole accompanied by the pressure from his heavy balls kept you from coming down so soon. 

You were already feeling another climax building. The sensitivity from your clit alone made it easy for your orgasm to seep through. Your eyes rolled into your head as your grip on the sheets tightened. 

“Daddy, I’m cummin’ again!” You cried through gritted teeth. Your tone was a mixture of pleading with him and begging for more. You wanted him to let up a bit to give you time to bounce back from the first orgasm but at the same time it felt too good to let go of. Your body shook underneath him as he squeezed your hips, holding you in place to prevent you from running. 

“You wanted me to fuck you up right?” He asked, taunting you all while you were cumming. 

“Yes!” You yelled. 

“Take this dick then.” 

You bit down on the sheets, moaning loudly as he continued fucking you. You weren’t a fan of tapping out but damn you just needed a few seconds to catch your breath. But he wasn’t granting you that anytime soon. He was fucking you like he had something to prove. Yes he was a gentleman but he also knew how to make you weep in more ways than one. 

The more he thrusted into you, the more you ran from his strokes, eventually ending up flat on your stomach. He pulled out of you and climbed on to the bed, laying on his side right next to you. He placed his hand on your waist and pulled you closer to him, pressing your back against his chest. 

“Put that dick back in.” He said, his lips slightly brushing against your ear lobe. 

You reached down and grabbed his dick, rubbing the tip through your slippery folds. You were trying to use this time to recoup and come back into reality. You could hear the sticky sounds your pussy was making each time you ran his dick in between your lips, loving how much he had managed to get you to make a mess in such a small amount of time. 

“Stop playing with me.” He spat, slapping your ass aggressively. 

You moaned from the slight pain and finally positioned his tip right at your entrance, pushing his dick back into you. He grabbed onto your leg, placing his hand into the bend of your knee as he thrusted into with full force. His other arm snaked under your neck and yanked your head back. He rocked his hips back and forth, lifting your leg more and more with each thrust. 

“Why that pussy so wet for me mama?” He spoke directly into your ear as he stared down at you. Your eyebrows were curled, mouth agape while his dick slid in and out of you. 

“I don’t… I-“ You tried to get it out but gave up just as soon as you started. 

He reached down and placed his fingers on your clit, rubbing it in circles. His dick pressed against your G-spot repeatedly while his fingers toyed it from the outside. Your body grew weaker as you fought the urge to hold it in any longer. 

“Feel. So. Good.” You moaned breathlessly in a rhythm with his strokes. Your hand gripped onto his arm that had a firm hold around your neck. 

“Fuck, I’m about to cum in this pussy.” He moaned. 

Kelvin closed his eyes as he pressed his lips to the side of your face. His breath lightly brushed against your jaw as you felt it increase. His fingers continued playing with your clit, feeling your pussy cream on his dick. The way you were taking him in, so wet and gushy, made it hard for him to last any longer than he wanted to. You could feel his dick jump inside of you, instantly pulling another orgasm out of you on the spot. 

“I’m cummin’!” You cried out. 

“I’m cummin’ with you baby.” He said, grabbing onto your leg. He gave a few more powerful strokes until you felt the warmth of his seed fill you. 

“Shit.” 

You both laid in place, chests rising as you fought to catch your breath. You blinked slowly, feeling your body slip into a well deserved slumber before Kelvin placed a kiss on your neck and lightly tapped your thigh. 

“Don’t fall asleep on me just yet baby, I wanna spend the rest of my night with you before I go.” He said, bringing you out of a sleepy fog. 

(Please excuse any mistakes! 🩵)

[not-inappropriate]

I will say, the entry level job market on indeed dot com does indeed dot suck. But I think I’ve learned a decent amount since indeed and company websites are the only job boards I’ve used, and I’ve had a decent career so far, so I feel like I’ve got some decent advice. if any of this helps anyone at all hell yeah.

So:

1) HR people ALWAYS exaggerate the requirements. However much experience they say they want, you probably need one third of that. Certifications required usually means certifications preferred, depending on the industry. Like, Don’t apply to a surgeon position with only a nursing degree; but there’s a solid chance you can get a job with a CPA firm without being a CPA yourself. Just make sure you can give some sort of explanation as to why you would be able to do the job if asked.

Story: My brother (1 year experience, Bachelor’s degree) was once encouraged to apply to a new position within his company by his boss, who had instructed HR on the requirements and experience needed for the position (bachelors required, entry level, 1-3 year experience preferred), and when my brother goes to the website to apply it says 3-5 years experience required, Masters degree preferred. Bro said boss was PISSED. HR can be a joke sometimes.

2) Cover letters are usually pointless if it’s not an extreme specialty position with few candidates. Unless it says they’re highly encouraged or something

3) Maybe the most important: send follow up emails for EVerything. I think this is what held me back for months when I first started using indeed. And it doesn’t matter how bland or thoughtless is is. Two sentences in an HR bro’s inbox is worth 10 cover letters. And if you got a screening call or an interview and haven’t heard back in a week+ ?? Call their ass. They might offer the job to you on the spot. Last time I was job hunting I got a mid offer, after being ghosted on two good offers I’d interviewed for. I called both of them and said Soooo y’all make a decision??? They both offered me a job within 24 hours. (Brag, sorry)

Each listing probably has hundreds of applicants. People just spamming their resume across the internet. And emails, or especially calls, show actual interest. Go to the company website > about us > our staff > contact us > whatever. “Hi Mr. Bob. I saw your listing on indeed and wanted to introduce myself. I graduated this year and had trouble contacting anybody on the job listing websites, but I believe I have the qualifications necessary for the position. If you have a moment, could you forward my email to the relevant parties. My resume is attached. Thank you, XoXo”. Whatever. When I was working in my first entry level job doing data entry and answering phones, I got a phone call like this, and we actually gave the guy an interview (this guy blew it RIP). I’ve seen another boss mad when he got a call from a reasonably qualified applicant who said they hadn’t heard back after applying on one of the other job listing sites, and he came out yelling at his secretary (yeah he was an asshole), demanding to see the resume. Offered him the job in the first interview. (Hell yeah). Plus people feel bad turning you down after hearing your voice. You’re a human to them now.

4)As far as finding more relevant jobs? Similar to point 1. For entry level, select the 1-3 years experience instead. For bookkeeping, choose accounting instead. When I was also looking for a bookkeeping job, I couldn’t find one for the life of me. When I was looking for accounting jobs as a Managerial Auditior?? Bookkeeping listings all over my indeed page. Yeah it’s bullshit, but aiming up helps. Thats about all I have for that though.

So yeah. Apply to things you might not perfectly meet the requirements for. Emails and phone calls get people’s attention. and Real Bosses are often pissed when they find out the inefficiencies of HR and job boards too. Just send it

Anyway. Job hunting can be the least fun endeavor on the planet. Sending thotts and prayors for the lot of you 🙏🙏🙏 and praying I never have to do it again (now that I found my dream job) (on indeed dot com) (fuck indeed dot com) (but also thank you indeed dot com)

do genuinely find it fascinating how indeed.com is like the biggest job-hunting website out there and yet manages to be profoundly useless in every possible way

[thecircularsystem]

What’s your biggest system hot take?

Already a tough question. I think...

Biggest hot take about systemhood is that it doesn't make me any different than anyone else. Sure, I've got parts, but so does the singlet down the street, in their own way. Sure, I've got amnesia, but so does my friend with C-PTSD and no parts.

The thing is, my systemhood doesn't make me any different than a singlet, beyond the parts, and even then, that's a moot point. It's just a symptom of my disorder. Singlets aren't some completely abstract, totally different, "could never understand me if they wanted to" beast.

I feel like a lot of system communities have an aversion to singlets, because "they can never understand what I experience." But genuinely, does that matter? And furthermore, yes the fuck they do oh my god.

My spouse has given me so much in terms of DID analogies and ways to conceptualize my system, and they are a singlet. They've given me more insight into trauma and healing than a lot of the people online who I know have DID. Ffs, I dated someone with DID, and their system presentation was so vastly different from my own that I relate more strongly to my partner's sense of self than theirs.

I think more system spaces need to realize that... whatever labels we use, whoever we are, whatever disorders we are, we're still all people on this bitch of an earth. Endogenic, traumagenic, any origin whatsoever, no origins, singlets, systems -- I do not care at all.

We're all just people, and that means, we have similarities at the end of the day. I'd love to see others thoughts on this; what, really, makes us so vitally different? What, really, separates us?

[artstennisracket]

Artrick hurt/comfort? I think I need art being comforted by Patrick about something so bad

this was soooo cute, I feel like Patrick would 100% be amazing at comforting Art

cw: fluff

Art never really cried often. There were exactly two times that Patrick had ever seen Art cry, once when he took a tennis ball straight to the dick during practice (it was very painful) and second when his grandma ended up in the hospital. She was still kicking but the thought of losing her struck Art to his core.

One thing Art never really cried about was tennis. He had been doing it for so long that he’s accepted that losses just come with playing the game, no one ever always wins. However, this particular match was the tipping point.

Art had been having such a shitty week. His girlfriend, Stacy, had broken up with him. She felt like he prioritized tennis (shocker they go to tennis boarding school) and Patrick, over spending time with her. Whatever. He also wasn’t doing too hot in his history class. He usually aces everything but his mind had been really cloudy the past few days, his game has been off, and so had his school work.

Now come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Patrick since last night so who even knows what he’s been up to. Overall Art was just feeling pretty down and upset so he knew he wouldn’t be on his A-game for Florida Regional Boys Final that day. This was the one year he had a real shot since him and Patrick didn’t end up versing each other in any of the qualifiers, so once Patrick lost, Art realized there was no other competitor he was worried about.

Unfortunately it was just bad timing. It was down to last set and the odds were not in his favor. He had missed too many shots and lost the final. He felt like he wanted to cry right there on the court, but he held it in until he got back to his room. There, Patrick was already waiting with open arms.

“hey it’s okay babe, you’ll get ‘em next year.” Patrick says soothingly as he takes Art into a giant bear hug.

That was enough to let the flood gates open and now Art is full on sobbing in Patrick’s arms. Patrick takes Art’s hat off and strokes his hair, his other hand moving up and down Art’s back hoping to calm him down.

“it was just a bad match is all, that happens sometimes.” Patrick says softly.

Art shakes his head no, inadvertently nuzzling into Patrick’s chest, “no i’m such a fucking idiot. i should’ve trained harder, i should’ve been better, but i’m just a fucking loser.”

Patrick pull away to look Art in the eyes. “no none of that, you’re not a loser. what loser ends up in regional finals to begin with? how many people did you have to beat to get there? and you are definitely not an idiot you get way better grades than me, if ur an idiot what does that make me?” Patrick says in all seriousness.

Art sniffles looking down, breaking their eye contact, “doesn’t matter, i lost the game that mattered.”

Patrick puts his hand under Art’s chin, forcing Art to look up at him. “but they all matter don’t they? that’s the only way to get to the final. my point is art you are an amazing tennis player, if not this year then i’m sure you’ll win next year. you did really well, i’m so proud of you babe.” Patrick responds.

Art’s sniffles start to subside and Patrick wipes the fallen tears on Art’s cheeks. “can you take a deep breath for me?” Patrick asks.

Art nods before taking a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth.

“there we go, now how’re you feeling?” Patrick questions.

Art shrugs. He’s definitely calmed down but overall he just feels meh.

“hm well we can’t have that now can we?” Patrick smirks and before Art can register what’s happening, Patrick’s hands make their way to Art’s armpits and he starts tickling him.

Art shrieks, “patrickkkk! stopppp”, he’s laughing and trying his best to wiggle out of Patrick’s grasp.

Patrick stops, letting go of Art. “i just wanted to see you smile babe, consider it payment for my services.”

Art shakes his head, faint smile on his face “yeah yeah, whatever. now i’m just exhausted and kind of hungry too.”

Patrick nods, he thinks for a second then says “well how about I go get us something from the cafeteria or better yet i’ll order some takeout and then we can take a nap, how does that sound?”

That actually sounded really nice. Art never realized just how much Patrick takes care of him, “thank you patrick.”

Patrick shrugs, he knows he’ll always take care of Art no matter what they go through or how they change throughout their life, “you don’t have to thank me, that’s what best friends are for.”

[the-haven-keepers-collective]

How our plurality has become spiritual

Lately, the way we view our plurality has changed. We never did view our plurality as purely psychological- it just didn't feel right. We have a headmate of spiritual origin, a past (parallel? Time is weird) life of ours, who apparently just pops into our headspace to say something every once in a while. He mainly shows up to correct misinformation about himself amongst our collective, which we think is funny as hell. We don't view ourselves through the typical medical lens either. Our stance, in regards to origins, is the same stance we take on "how did earth come to be?"

Dude, fuck if I know, why do I care? All I care is that right now, we need to learn how live in it!

So our origin wasn't a priority. Still isn't! We just... stumbled upon a way to articulate how we feel our collective works. We'd only ever heard of spiritual plurality in relation to systems who are more than one soul, inhabiting the same body. This makes sense to us! That... never felt true for our collective, save for our one walk-in headmate. We believe in the multiverse theory; that a lot of fiction is just reality somewhere else. But some of our fictives from a shared source- myself included- don't really feel that way about our source. At one point we thought about it, and simply decided... it doesn't matter. It's real to us. That's what matters. Whether our exomemories are truly another reality, or our brain explaining our existence, or whatever the fuck... It's real to us and that's all that we care about. But it still leaves us in a rather confusing place:

If we aren't separate souls, but feel very strongly that our plurality is somehow spiritual in origin... where does that leave us? Plus, at one point we felt really icky because if we aren't separate souls, it felt like we were invalidating ourselves as separate individuals. Ultimately, the conclusion we came to was that we do have one soul. We are still more than one individual.

We believe in reincarnation, for context. We believe it works... like whirlpools (individual incarnations) in a river (someone's soul), in a way. Each incarnation is its own thing, and describing it as a shard of a soul implies a sort of "shattering" or "breaking" imagery that we don't like, but every incarnation is still part of that soul. We view our plurality as... sort of a small-scale version of that. Like a fractal, when you zoom in- it all looks the same eventually. Our soul just decided "what if I do that, but as much as I can in one life? That'd be interesting!" and now here we are with a bunch of fictional characters in our head going "dude, what the fuck?"

So, there's a long-winded explanation of how we view our plurality, for fun. Also, since we're going to be reblogging this one on our witchy/spirituality blog, I'll be signing off with the name I use there instead. At this point our practice as witches goes beyond what people typically associate with witchcraft, we just still call it witchy because... well, that's what our witchcraft looks like. Eh.

-Rayne

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

also, something crucially important is that you can let go of what someone did without forgiving them. functionally, it’s practically identical to forgiving someone who you don’t keep in your life anymore (be that by your choice, theirs, or merely circumstances), bc it’s only in your own head either way. you’re not going to hit this person up to say you forgive them if you don’t want to keep that connection open, and you’re not going to hit them up to say you’ve moved on and you’re letting go, either. the only difference, truly, is that choosing to let go instead of forgive the other person centers YOU over them.

if someone isn’t in your life anymore, it doesn’t really matter to them if you privately and internally forgive them or not, nor does it matter to them if you let go or hold on. it can’t matter to them when they can’t know what your decision is. when people say you need forgiveness for your peace, what they actually mean is that you need to let go of what happened and not hold on to anger or pain or sorrow. but forgiveness isn’t necessary to let go of all that stuff.

i’ll never forgive my first two exes for what they did to me, one of them having been overtly abusive (to the point that after breaking up with me, she manipulated my next gf into breaking up with me too so she could lure me back in, and it worked) and the other having been more mild than her younger counterpart but she was simply 18 dating a 14-year-old and expecting her 14-year-old partner to act her age, which was 4 years older than my age at that time. both of these girls, now women, hurt me immensely. and i still have work to do to uncover exactly how much they hurt me and what i can do to keep their effect on me from affecting others around me, through me… but i HAVE let go. i can’t hold that anger and pain and sorrow from 10 years ago anymore. i can’t change the fact that they did what they did to me. i can only tell myself that i refuse to let them continue holding power over me, and release that power by letting go of what they did and their presence in my mind. i did this quite a while ago, when one of them texted me a long rambly message and, instead of telling her how fucked up she was for dating someone 4 years younger than her at 18 and expecting me to act like someone her age, i just told her she had the wrong number and then blocked her. this was about 5 years ago now. at that moment i realised that i didn’t want to be miserable like that. she had held onto whatever hurt she got out of our relationship for like 5 years at that point, to the point she couldn’t be in the room when a movie we both used to love came on and restrain herself from sending me a text, wailing as a wounded animal. i didn’t want that kind of future.

i still think about them both, but i’m over being miserable about it. i have shit to unpack but when i’m done, i’ll be done. i’m not trying to wallow in that. THAT’S what letting go and protecting your peace is about. that’s the core of it. you can choose to forgive them, or you can choose not to, but you can’t wallow in your pain. it’s hard, but you have to let it go. it’ll only burn you more if you hold on.

it’s not about forgiveness. that part is completely optional. it’s about release

Think I used to get bogged down in “do I forgive this person” “do I even out the scales” “should I stand my ground” but really the question I should be asking is “what would be better for me” bc really. What would be better for me in the long term. What would stay true to my self respect and boundaries and values? What would provide the best outcome? What would make the most of our time? Sometimes that’s forgiveness and sometimes it’s not and I don’t think either route is necessarily morally superior to the other so long as it minimizes harm and is fair while also prioritizing your happiness